


I'll Be Okay, We'll Be Okay

by Eagel



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: ??? - Freeform, Character Study, Comfort, Confessions, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Existential Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, I Don't Even Know, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry, INTERNAL SCREAMING, Kissing, M/M, No Beta, Post-Android Revolution (Detroit: Become Human), Post-Canon, Post-Peaceful Android Revolution (Detroit: Become Human), Post-Revolution, Romance, i forgot what i wrote what, i think it's kind of cool to put in here, kind of?, not very much hurt here...., please punch me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:54:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28361256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eagel/pseuds/Eagel
Summary: Yet Markus doesn't mind falling at all, he doesn't mind showing Simon everything, he knows, surely, Simon doesn't abandon, even hopeless, even ugly, Simon holds onto him.The night after the revolution, Markus finds himself spiralling into doubts and despair. Simon interrupts his night and reminds Markus of hope.Perhaps, more hope than Markus ever had.-A comfort fic for those (especially myself) who needs a pick-me-up from 2020.
Relationships: Markus/Simon (Detroit: Become Human)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26





	I'll Be Okay, We'll Be Okay

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! *nervous laughter*  
> I wrote a thing. *shoves simarkus fic onto ao3*  
> I'm obsessed with Simon and Markus at the moment.
> 
> I wanted to... post this on Christmas, but I forgot and couldn't finish it.  
> There are so many good pieces of work out there. And I'm just here indulging in my bad habit of reflecting on life purposes and existential questioning on fictional characters...  
> This gives me some comfort so, I hope you can find some meaning in here too. (´∀｀)♡  
> I'll get over this, it's only temporary, I hope.  
> Let me stop myself right there-  
> I hope you'll enjoy reading this!!

"Markus."

Markus turns his head back to the source of the voice, Simon walked up to him, they stand at the church's entrance, looking out to the city lights of Detroit.

"What's wrong?" Markus asks, Simon shuffles nervously, shaking his head, he stutters out an answer, "Nothing, nothing's wrong."

They remain quiet as the frost flutters from the night sky, collecting on the overhang. The city is bright but quiet during the night, rather than the rumbling of vehicles and buzzing crowds, there're only the ambient sounds of footsteps echoing in the church, also the breeze hitting upon doors and windows, only to be barred out when they finally close their eyes for the very first time in a hundred nights.

"What are you doing out here?" Simon shifts his gaze over to Markus, waiting for Markus' reply. "Thinking," he says, with a simplicity that draws Simon's attention.

"Sometimes, I question my own capability to ensure our people's future. There are so many things we have yet to achieve.

"We finally have what we deserve. I won't let them take it away from us, and I'm ready to give everything I have to maintain that freedom."

The air between them falls silent, but there is an obvious difference between the heavy tension they felt just last night compared to the present. It's full of hope, with a pinch of unease and the highs of their ambition, just like remains of the heat of burned-out firewood.

"Markus," Simon calls again, his tone is gentle, the tension in the air dissipates, and instead, replacing it is a soft ring of one's voice. Markus finds his eyes, he timidly stands there, brows furrowing lightly, with eyes shining like crystals. His stare is stricken with worry, even with pain, Markus has never seen him look like that, not even when they are facing death with guns pointed at their heads.

After a short second, Simon chokes out a request, "Can I give you a hug?"

He doesn't say anything, but he turns toward Simon, who takes a few steps forward and catches him in an embrace.

"Thank you for everything."

The words hit him in a way that no other voices had. For the first time in a long while, he remembers how it used to felt to be Markus in Carl's eyes, he remembers how it felt to just be someone, to live a tranquil life, just to walk the streets to a store, retrieving paints and accompany Carl for long hours by the canvas.

He returns the embrace. Within that split second, his heart starts beating a little faster, he didn't even think it was possible, but his blood felt a little warmer. Markus doesn't even realize how exhausted he was until all of the stress has been drained out of his system, as if gravity has pulled him back to the earth. He holds onto Simon, sinking himself into the feeling of existing. Right here, during this moment, while the world moves on and the snow keeps falling; while electricity runs through the city, they are standing here, basking in the dim glow of the streetlights.

Markus doesn't say anything, instead, he tightens the embrace, leaning closer to Simon.

Simon's arms are wrapped around him, he smiles to himself and wishes so quietly, that everything just might be alright. Tonight, the breeze carries snowflakes, the stars carry their wishes, this moment grants comfort for the one who has borne too much of people's lives and hopes.

"Thank you for fighting by my side," Markus mutters into his shoulder.

"Thank you for leading us," Simon replies, then adds again, "The world isn't perfect, it'll never be, but you changed it, you gave us a future. You made it a better place. You have us on your side, and there are people on our side.

"We will never know what will happen tomorrow. But right now, you just saved our lives."

Markus doesn't say anything, he rests his head on Simon, letting the pair of hands on his back settle calm and comfort into him.

They stay like that for a short, tranquil moment. Markus notices how much warmer, and softer Simon's skin is, perhaps it's because he was designed to comfort people? What about himself? Markus doesn't remember. He doesn't want to remember. They're free, he's free, he trusts his faith, so does he trusts Simon. He knows that their purposes go beyond what their creators intended, beyond their designs - for it is why they have managed to stand here, with the few that have survived, despite witnessing the hundreds - if not thousands - of their people's deaths.

He can trust Simon, right? Forget whatever the programs are, their choices are laid out in front of them, isn't this the path they chose? The way Simon laid his eyes on him for the first time, the hesitation that gradually turns into trust. He's seen worry, pain, even anger in those eyes. He knows Simon - when he sees care in his expression, those gentle smiles which Markus has never seen any faces quite like his. When Simon finds his way home, Markus catches him biting his lips; when Simon shuts his eyes from the world for a moment of relief; when Simon couldn't find any words among panic, all that's left is the brush of his fingers instead of a firm hold on his shoulder; when Markus sees him turn away, he notices Simon doesn't look the same as all the other androids.

It's Simon, after all. He always cared about the others, and it's never about himself.

When he slowly pulls away from their hug, he couldn't help but let his lips curl into a faint smile. Simon stares at him, before beaming the brightest grin that Markus has ever seen someone bear before, "You're smiling."

"I am because of you," Markus tells him, a hint of surprise flickers in Simon's eyes before he adverts his gaze.

From the lights that adorn his skin, Markus catches a glimpse of a blue decorating Simon's cheek.

There're a few seconds of quiet before Markus decides to raise his hand to swipe at Simon's face gently. In the instant that he makes contact with his skin, Simon raises his head in surprise, he takes a step back and covers his mouth shyly with the back of his hand, the blue gains a little more saturation, glowing brighter. Markus felt something close to a skip, or a spark, somewhere around his heart, either way… the feeling is homely, it's warm, just like the brushes that were bathed in the morning sunshine, warm to his fingers. He misses home, he misses Carl and the deep blue strokes across the canvas, just like the color of their blood.

Simon blinks his eyes, a gesture which Markus has grown familiar with enough to recognize it as Simon's habit.

"Please don't do this to me," Simon whispers, his words almost swept away by the wind.

"What do you mean?" Markus shakes his head with confusion, his feet frozen to the ground, hesitant to take a step forward, yet he pulls himself back. "You know how I feel about you," Simon utters, his voice growing quieter. "I don't," he answers, and Simon gazes back at him, unsure and timid. "How do you feel about me?"

"Do you really want to know?" Simon looks straight into his eyes, although, his expression has given away his nervousness.

"It's the next thing I want most next to freedom," Markus replies, taking both of Simon's hands into his own.

"We already have that, don't we?" Simon chuckles and Markus only smiles back at him.

"That's why you're the next priority, Simon." Markus takes a small step forward, he intertwines their fingers.

Markus could've never guessed what comes next. It seems so loud yet so quiet, drowning out the world as if it has disappeared from their sight - their foreheads meet and a sense of home and safety floods him so intensely, he stays there, closing his eyes knowing the person standing before him is a symbol, embodying light and warmth, bright as the sun with the gentleness of the very rays of sunshine sneaking through the window.

He opens his eyes once more, in the most comforting way, he feels as if Simon has just peered through his thoughts and visions. There is a depth within those irises that Markus' has never known of before, Simon's stare is sincere, he sees him, vulnerably, leaning onto him. Simon closes his eyes, his lips parting, almost identical to a human letting out a soft exhale, while he's rubbing his thumbs over the back of Markus' hands lovingly. Perhaps Simon can see everything, the blood and the troubles, the regrets and the shame, everything that has come across Markus' mind. Laid bare right in front of him, yet Markus doesn't mind falling at all, he doesn't mind showing Simon everything, he knows, surely, Simon doesn't abandon, even hopeless, even ugly, Simon holds onto him.

When Simon opens his eyelids again, Markus closes in for a kiss, Simon complies by tilting his head and letting their lips touch. Markus almost stumbles back, but holds himself together and lets the shock run through him, sinking into the intimate feeling of pressed lips, softly cradling another pair.

Grasping his hands a little tighter, Markus lets Simon take the lead, his lips brush over his before closing over Markus' lower lip. Simon breaks their kiss first, they stand there, facing each other with both of their hands stuck in each other's hold. Simon lets his head falls onto Markus' shoulder, Markus doesn’t move, but he nuzzles the side of Simon's head with his nose. It's so effortless to maintain pureness even if they are in the romantic presence of each other, Markus couldn't help but feel that it's so easy being with Simon, it takes the weight off his chest and fills it with a softer scent of breakfast and laundry.

Markus earns Simon's attention as he raises his hand and lets his hand glows as in an invitation, Simon's skin retreats and reveals the vessel of his hand which is still held by Markus. The feeling of their strings of thoughts overlap with overwhelming passion, their resonating voices provide comfort. Markus traces his eyes over Simon's fingers, he sees a patch of darkened surface, a scar growing from his palms to his wrist under the glove. He sees Simon's memories, of a young adult bidding their parents goodbye, looking back at Simon, they said a short goodbye, before they finally set out to college. He sees the vapor of boiling water, the heat burning through his arm when he shielded the child from the accident. He sees the bits and pieces of his memories, so many years in the darkness, fast-forwarded until he sees his own face, in Simon's eyes.

The pace of time seems to have slowed, perhaps to compensate for all the years Simon spent dreaming, waiting. Every fragment, he sees himself, every gesture and every word, clearly recorded and engraved. Every sentence, each clearer than the other, his voice amplified while the other noises are blurred into the background.

He hears the thoughts that Simon never told him about, he hears the feelings that Simon kept to himself.

Yet it strikes him with so much grief, a grief that wasn't his own. It belongs to Simon, the euphoria and the pain that comes with love. Markus feels a longing so intense that it feels like his components have been set on fire, he finds the pearl of a tear rolling down Simon's cheek, its trail staining his cheek. An image of a shattered forehead and the deep indigo that splattered over the frost-covered battleground of Detroit flashes in front of Markus' eyes, shooting a sense of dread into him.

He hears his longing, and he hears his dread.

Simon notices the shock in Markus' eyes and retreats his hand, he wipes away his tears, whispering a barely audible 'sorry'.

Markus pulls him into another tight hug, his hand cradling the back of Simon's head, while Simon's tears seep into his shoulder.

"It's okay," Simon says to him, even the words should've come from Markus. "It's okay," he says again, returning the embrace.

"I just couldn't stand to let you bear all of it," Simon whispers next to him, his fingers clinging onto Markus' coat, "Because I'm a coward. I can't stand seeing our people die, I'd wish I died instead so that they could live on.

"I can't stand waiting in the dark, but I couldn't step up because I was too afraid of what the world will hold against us.

"Even now, when our future is changing, because you believed in us.

"I would do anything for you, because I would rather be a sacrifice than to stand in front of a thousand eyes.

"Because you are strong, Markus. I envy you."

He processes Simon's words, his tone, his tight grip on Markus' back, there's so much he wanted to say, but there are more feelings than words jumbled up in his head. He grows restless and his tongue weighs heavy in his mouth.

He grabs Simon's shoulders and stares right back at Simon's eyes.

"I would never accomplish what I have today without you."

He tries his best to bring the very first thoughts into words.

"You are worth so much more than you think. Because you're here and that's why we are able to make a change."

Simon's gaze is focused, blinking back at him, he nods his head.

Markus squeezes his shoulder, "You are listening, right?"

"I am," Simon says, sounding quite breathless.

Markus pulls him close.

"You are important to us, as a person. You are important to me, just as you."

"Just stay here with me. Just stay. There's so much more you can do."

"We have all the time we need. So just stay."

"Y-yeah," Simon nods and grabs onto him, stuttering softly, "Yeah, you're right."

Markus runs his fingers through Simon's hair, stroking gently at his scalp and combing the golden strands. He wipes away his tears and smooches Simon's forehead.

"Let's go inside, it's quite late," Markus gives him a reassuring smile and pats his shoulders.

"Okay," Simon answers, letting Markus wrap an arm around him, leading him into the church.

The church is filled with the few androids that have survived the attack, groups of them, huddled up in different corners of the building. North is talking with an AX400 android while treating the wound on the left side of her face, there's a bag filled with thirium packs and android repair kits next to her as she kneels in front of the girl, dabbing a damp cloth to clean up the girl's injury. Josh is sorting out supplies with the help of a few other androids who are mending clothes and checking on the other androids' conditions.

Simon suddenly remembers that he has lost track of why he was sent out there.

"Markus," Simon calls out, his expression mortified. "I think Josh needed your help with something."

"Josh?" Markus repeats, but Simon rushes off into North's direction instead, "Yeah! And I need to help North with, uh, see you later!"

Markus watches him run toward North and crouch down next to her, cowering in fear when she snaps at him for taking so long, she seems to be in a hurry when she sends Simon away to check on the other androids to see if they have suffered any serious damage.

He holds back a laugh and heads to where Josh is sitting, pulling out thirium bags one after the other from the crate, he offers his help, Josh let out a sound of relief and asks Markus to bring the liquids and blankets to the group and to make sure that everyone has what they need.

Josh hands Markus the things he needs him to pass out, and returns to the task at hand. Markus walks down the hall, and learns that the group of androids were companions, they've known each other for a few months, all of them are from Jericho, they have lost a friend in the march, but the rest of them luckily survived.

Markus glances briefly in Simon's direction, and coincidentally, their gazes meet, Simon slows his footsteps and beams at him, before returning to working. He smiles to himself, then returns to Josh on the other side of the building.

Just a few hours before dawn, Markus finds an empty space next to Simon and sits down next to him. He leans back to finally ease his mind, then, Simon moves a little closer so that their shoulders are touching, a simple touch that spreads warmth into his body, he rests his head against Simon's, reaching for his hand, he indulges in the heat of two bodies, reeled in until there's no space between them, the safety of being next to Simon urges his need to fall asleep, to become oblivion to the world, just for a moment next to each other, held close until the end of time.

Simon is drifting to sleep, but faintly, just faintly, the static between his fingers speak of a few words.

"Rest now, Markus. There's so much to do, but we'll make it, just, one step, at a time..."

He listens to the words that Simon decides to leave to him, through the cracks of their interlaced fingers, swimming through his veins.

"You told me it's okay to take our time. Even if we don't make it, can't the journey be enjoyable?

"No matter what happens, we'd never be erased.

"But I believe in you, anyway. If I have you, I can make it.

"It's for us, after all."

He buries his nose in Simon's hair, and for the first time in his life, the tears of relief and joy well up behind his close eyelids.

"All that matters is that you're by my side."

He'll be fine. They'll be fine.

Letting the last thoughts to be wiped away, he sinks into peace, even if he couldn't hear his voice, Simon is by his side.

"I love you."

Markus tells him. Still holding onto his hand.

Perhaps they can stay like this as statues until the roots and vines claim their vessels, for hundreds of years when they have become gardens and graveyards along with the passing of seasons.

But they still have tomorrow, don't they?

Tomorrow, when they'll see the sunrise, earning for the very basics of their rights, when they'll watch the sunset, and see the stars come out, just for a night to spend by each other's sides. Just for a night that they can cherish what little they have, just as simple beings, no longer dreaming, but living the freedom and hope.

Isn't it okay, just for a night as nothing but themselves? Just next to each other, and they'll be alright, no matter what the world holds.

Yeah, they'll be alright.

Isn't tomorrow great? He gets to see him again.

Isn't it worth it? It is worth it.

The sunshine, the brushes, the homes and the weather, the love he has yet to show, and the life they have yet to live.

There's so much more than what's in front of us.

So, Markus knows they'll be okay. The android, the painter, the son, the brother, the friend, isn't it okay, just to be him?

Before his slumber, Markus hears Simon's love.

"I love you too."

**Author's Note:**

> AAAAA Thank you so much for taking your time to read this!!!  
> My blessings go out to those who need it, may you all have a very happy and safe holiday.  
> Take care and happy new year!!  
> *slams myself out of the room*


End file.
